The thunder woke me like the breath of a gentle beast, and the rain poured a sense of calmness and peace over me as my eyes slowly opened. Today was different. Last night’s thoughts began to simmer again, and it was as if I could finally decompress them transparently with a clarity that had been missing for 15 years. Several decades of thoughts began to fuse neurological bridges as though I had hired a programmer who was coding an extensive sitemap in my mind – the path which would become everything I had dreamed of creating in my life. I lay there in my bed afraid to move… afraid of the project I knew I had to start today. I’m not sure if it was awe or terror that came over me, but I knew I had asked for this. I remembered the last thing I had asked God before I fell asleep. I wanted to make sure my thoughts were for the good and not summoning something opposite of my intentions from which I could never return. That’s all I ever really wanted in life – to create good, to be good, and to teach others how to do good. Had God answered my questions, or was I being tempted to tap into something powerful yet unaccommodating of my intentions?
The movie I watched before bed had ingrained itself all the way down to my brainstem, and the research I had pursued after the credits rolled was still fresh. I had grokked into something I had known my whole life but had previously been unable to process. There is so much more to this world and it’s about to be unveiled faster than the majority of humanity is ready to experience. I believe that good can be found in bad. I believe that the rich are often poor, and the poverty-stricken are some of the wealthiest souls. I fear that good can be used for evil, but even more so I dread the times when good is extinguished by the fear of it being used for evil. And I believe that sometimes making the greatest influence means one must become insignificantly small to gain the most attention.
I knew everything I had to do today could wait. This was larger than anything on my list. I should be talking to my fans, signing books, making social media posts, and scheduling meetings with my marketing clients… but none of that was part of today’s agenda. I sat down and picked up my laptop and felt an overwhelming urge to work with diligence and speed that didn’t even feel earthborn. I wanted to write, but I needed the right space. How would I make a perpetual book in real-time that I had no idea how or when would end? How could I keep it anonymous, so that the reader could read these thoughts without a preconceived reverence or animosity?
The word “REVERSE” was pounding in my cortex as though it were trying to break through and reconstruct everything I had been trying to achieve in my life. To do this level of good I needed to be unseen and unknown. I didn’t have to know the ending yet. Chronological order wasn’t part of the plan, and the plot was too encompassing to lasso into a main idea. I just needed a platform. I secured the domain name and started to create a simple website, but logic wasn’t what I was craving today. I could taste the words I was trying to say and everything else was just standing in the way. I couldn’t build a site today. I had to write… now. I grabbed a blank Word document and decided now is the most important time a person will ever have. As I typed thoughts and heard words enter my head that I hadn’t used in years, my computer begged me to save the unnamed file. I finally forced myself to save it, and when naming the folder, my fingers just typed out the word “Write”. My conscience knew I needed to see those words daily and just write. I know this project will be called “Reverse”, but my eyes just needed to see the word “Write”.