I’m pretty sure I entered this world completely obsessed with music. Throughout my entire life music has been not just in my life… it has given me life. I have taken the stage in places I never dreamed of and music was always there. It might have been in the background during a speech or I might have even been the one performing, but it was always there. Before I could speak full sentences, I could sing and memorize lyrics. Lao Tzu said, “Music in the soul can be heard by the universe,” and I believe that to be true. Every person has a song – some are just more in tune with their melody. Look at how music has shaped the world, from hymns to lullabies to national anthems and everything in between. The power music has on a person’s well-being is grossly underestimated. There is a style of music for every person throughout every range of emotions that a person can experience. It’s the reason it’s in churches, cars, video games, retail stores, and even elevators. The earliest recording of music was in 1888 and featured Arthur Sullivan’s “The Lost Chord”. In a state of shock, Arthur is reported to have said:
“I can only say that I am astonished and somewhat terrified at the result of this evening’s experiments: astonished at the wonderful power you have developed, and terrified at the thought that so much hideous and bad music may be put on record forever.”
If only Mr. Sullivan knew how true his words would be. Music has given us some of the most incredible masterpieces and has also presented the world with everything that’s incandescent in the most negative ways possible. This is simply another instance of using something meant to inspire the human spirit and instead is often used to tear apart humanity while instilling fear and evil instead. What makes a person use something to its lowest optimal potential? I believe the greatest definition would simply read “expression”. Just as babies cry and toddlers learn to dance and talk, humans have always felt the need to express themselves. It’s part of our connection. Undoubtedly, those expressions aren’t always positive and can transcend into art, business, relationships, and communication. As long as there are human emotions, there will be negative energy as well. Where we are failing as a society is not to implore the human mind to never feel the negative, but to touch on it, accept it, and make it positive again. A light switch can be turned off, but it always needs to be turned on again. The sun can’t always scorch the earth, but the rain can’t always fall. And human emotions won’t always be enthusiastic. However, allowing the light switch to never be turned on is to produce a dark, stalemate environment. Allowing the rain to never stop falling would obviously be detrimental. And enabling a person to dwell on the bleakest areas of life is to rob them of the happiness that is so easily attainable every day. Choose your music wisely. It’s having more effect on you than you can imagine. I ask you to read any paragraph of this book set to a binaural beat and then read it again set to a funny song. The words will no longer feel motivational. In fact, you’ll probably have a hard time focusing at all on any of these words. This is the inexplicable power music has over us.
So where has music followed or led me in life? Music led me to a piano where I matched notes to what I heard in my head. Before I entered kindergarten, I was playing melodies I didn’t realize I had created. Sometimes my fingers played melodies I hadn’t dreamt of yet, and then I’d memorize those as well. I longed not just to hear the notes but to create something just like composers had in the 1800’s. I wanted to be remembered for my melodies and the demeanors in which I played them. Music eventually led me to the stage where I would perform and tour while still attending public school. I remember feeling incoherently out of place in the classroom, while also being loved and adored by my peers (and hated by a few jealous ones). This was my first memory of feeling the tug of yin and yang in my life.
School felt strangely clinical and obtuse, though I was always warmly welcomed by teachers and friends. I never did really understand the relevance of the public school system, but I was a rule follower on the outside and aimed to please. Secretly, inside, I had a lot to say. My interests weren’t art, history, or math; lunch was bland and monotonous, and recess was full of obnoxious games that lacked depth or understanding even by the self-proclaimed rule makers. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my share of monkey bars and teeter-totters – mostly because I was imagining myself to be an Olympic gymnast or an ancient Chinese acrobat in a traveling circus. I made straight A’s all through school because it seemed it was expected of me, and I was just slightly OCD enough to not allow myself to fall below exceptional. I skimmed the material in class, read the bold words, and memorized what was easily predicted to be on the test. I retained it long enough to pass the test and then the information was buried or forgotten. This was my pattern throughout my school years. I daydreamed or wrote poems in class, tried to be a part of a few extracurricular activities, and watched the clock tick for what seemed like an eternity until I could get home and study the things that really captured my curiosity. Once I was home, I almost always engrossed myself in music. Some days I played piano and sang, and some days I recorded myself and then layered harmony lines just to hear what sounds I could produce vocally. Still, other days were spent just lying on my bed listening to my five-disc CD player on shuffle. No matter where I was in life, music was at the forefront. Music accompanied my dance recitals, piano recitals, gymnastic performances, and cheer routines. Music rolled from the fingertips and lips of my mom, dad, brother, grandpa, uncles, aunts, cousins, and friends. Certain songs still haunt me from times when I was most afraid. Other songs bring a smile to my face as I remember many firsts in my life that I never want to forget. Music has always been the soundtrack to my life’s story. It has witnessed every feeling I’ve ever garnered and burned itself into my mental autobiography. But music has also done so much more. I continue to be inspired not only by the music itself but also by other artists who are creating it. I’m drawn to creative people like a child watching Disney movies. Logic most often eludes me and creative risk-taking is my penchant. I have built my life around the assumption that anything is possible if a person wants it, is passionate about it, and is willing to do the work. I’ve been accused of being overly optimistic at best – with less appealing descriptions including flighty, crazy, “out-there”, or even delusional. Luckily, I was blessed with a family that loved me with every molecule of their being and encouraged me even when they had their doubts. I think sometimes my family just envisioned me as someone who was just crazy enough to make something of myself someday… something more than the school system would teach me. As an adult, I learned these qualities had a label – ADHD. What baffled me was the categorization of it as a “disability”.